Confession: I’m having an affair. A torrid, passionate, all consuming, and unexpected affair.
With caffeine.
I couldn’t be more serious.
That may not seem like a big deal to most, but to me–huge. I’ve never been a caffeine kind of gal. I never drank much soda, but when I did, it was assuredly caffeine free. I don’t drink coffee, although I love the smell. But the taste? Blech! I get a semi-permanent Bill the Cat face with every sip. Believe me, I’ve tried to like coffee. In college I had a brief infatuation with Cafe Caramels, but at about 6 million calories a pop, I quickly gave it up. Then when I was first married, I tried again. For some reason I felt like since I was married that I should become a coffee drinker. Like a rite of passage into “real” adulthood, or something. That didn’t last long being that I liked all the girly flavored coffees, and Hubby likes his coffee straight-up and manly. So I decided to give up the whole caffeine institution.
That is until chai lattes came into my life.
It happened slowly over time. When my first son was born, he was colicky and didn’t sleep more than 1.5 hours at a time for the first 14 months of his life. We were tired. Dog tired. After particularly brutal nights of sleep deprivation, neither one of us could function. I understand the reason that sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Couple that with the fact that the city we lived in at the time had a Starbucks on every corner, and you can see that I never really stood a chance. Hubby would pick up a no-messin’-around-Venti-dark-roast-with-a-double-shot-of-espresso for himself, and a chai latte for me. But it was only an occasional habit. I could still resist the lure of the Mistress Caffeine.
But her hold on me became increasingly stronger with each child. Her visits more frequent and enticing. By the time our 4th son was born 17 months ago, I was firmly in her clutches. (After pregnancy, of course.) My occasional chai latte habit became a daily thing. If I didn’t have one, I missed it. More importantly, I needed the caffeine.
Who was I? How did this happen?
This is how.
I’ve tried to give up caffeine. Really, I have! I’ve tried to get out from under it’s daily hold on me, several times. In fact just this week, I tried to go cold turkey.
And I got a headache.
And I was cranky.
And I missed the spicy warmth that is my morning chai latte.
When I complained about how I was feeling, and how I couldn’t seem to shake the fog from my head each morning, Hubby gave me the usual speech: “I don’t know why you torture yourself. It’s only tea. Besides it works. And you like it.” He’s always so calm and logical. But I was determined to be strong!
I totally caved.
I caved so hard that I bought 6 containers of Tazo Chai–the kind they serve at Starbucks–because I don’t ever want to be without it again. And I’ve have 2 humongo mugs today. (I’m a little jittery.) It’s my only vice. My one bad habit. Unless of course you consider baking on a daily basis a bad habit. But, if you do, then I’m not sure that we can be friends. (But, I’ll try. 😀 )
So, I surrender. I’m am firmly embedded in the wiley clutches of the Mistress that is caffeine. My affair will continue.
For now.
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