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cows, cows make life a little more funny, family, housewife, jokes, mother of boys, random musings
My boys are really into telling jokes. I am continually amazed at the jokes they tell, not because they’re so creative and funny–although sometimes they are–but because they are the very same jokes that I told my parents when I was a kid. And now that I think about it, probably the same jokes that my parents told their parents. Huh.
Of course I laugh like crazy so as not to spoil their punchlines, but you can only fake laughter through so many knock-knock jokes before you want to cover your ears and run screaming from the room.
Okay, maybe that’s just me being a tad dramatic. I do that sometimes.
The Classics are my favorite:
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
(Repeat 17 times, or until your Target Audience threatens mutiny, and then…)
Knock-knock.
(Exasperated) WHO’S THERE?
Orange.
(Sigh) Orange who?
(Giggling) Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Yeah. That never gets old. To them.
Annoying jokes are their forte. Dare I say that they thrive on them? The Sons really don’t care if the joke makes any sense at all, so long as they amuse themselves. Even the Baby is getting involved. He’s pretty cute trying to repeat the jokes that his brothers tell on a daily basis–with a twist. The Baby’s version of the banana-orange joke goes something like this:
Knock-knock?
Who’s there?
BANANA YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY ORANGE?! (Insert Riotous Baby Laughter)
I don’t care who you are–that’s some funny stuff right there!
Son #1 resurrected a joke this morning that is new(er) and we had forgotten about. It’s from Sandra Boynton’s Amazing Cows book. BTW–if you like Sandra Boynton or cows, you should snag a copy of this book. Hilarity will ensue. But I digress..the joke goes like this:
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh–
MOO!!!
Get it?! The Interrupting cow interrupted the joke. Heh-heh.
Son #1 told the joke a few times, and then, after belly-laughing so hard it hurt, the Baby had to join in. As always, his version was a little different:
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Annoying cow…MOO!!!
I like the Baby’s version much better. I think he’s got a future in comedy.
What’s the best joke that you remember from childhood or have heard lately?
Keep it clean, Friends. My kids are going to read them. 
The last one my 9yo son told me was: “What do you get when you cross a chicken and a firecracker?” “Chicka-boom, chicka-boom, chicka-boom-boom-BOOM!!” He thought he was hilarious! I have to admit I laughed out loud.
Now THAT is a good one!
LOL My brother made up a joke when he was little: Knock-knock. Who’s there? Orange Pill…
Seriously. That’s the joke. All of it. We’re still trying to figure it out.
Ha! I hear a lot of nonsensical jokes that don’t keep my boys from laughing to the point of tears. Maybe one day your bro will explain the joke.
So one day Jacob recounts the telling of a joke in Mrs. Cobb’s class:
Jacob starts out: “Three guys walk into a bar…”
Whereupon Mrs. Cobb interrupts, saying: “Let’s make this appropriate for school, Jacob. Instead, say, ‘Three guys walk into a library’ to start the joke.”
So Jacob dutifully says: “Three guys walk into a *library*… The fourth one ducked.”
This makes me chuckle every.single.time. Gotta love Mrs. Cobb!!
That. Is. Awesome.
My favorite from childhood was:
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Little old lady. Little old lady who? Wow! I didn’t know you could yodle!
My favorite as a grown-up is:
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Control Freak – now you say “control freak who?”
Oh Jeanne – I LOVE it! May I please co-opt that for my own selfish, type-A, OCD, control-freak use?? ** “Now you say, ‘Of course!’”
Any–this joke is for you! Use it every time your boys are griping about your explanation of how/why they should do something.
That control freak joke is my new favorite!
Cracks me up! I love thinking about all of you sitting around laughing your heads off. Here’s a really corny one: What’s the last thing that goes through the mind of a bug when it hits your windshield? It’s rear end.
I know, it’s really bad.
Ha! I told your joke the other day when an especially large insect (?) met it’s demise on our windshield. It went a little something like: SPLAT! Ewww! (insert Anne’s joke here) Giggles. The boys loved it.
My favorite is “What’s the difference between an onion and an oboe?”
“No one cries when you cut up an oboe…”
Hilarious! I’m saving this one for my cousin the oboe player.
The Cub spent a good 10 minutes of the last Skype session with his grandparents telling them jokes from one of his joke books. Ones that he had told them many times since we acquired the book. Nana was running out of knock knock jokes to tell back. He’s finally getting the idea that a joke has to make sense for us to laugh.
So cute when kids start understanding humor for the general public. What a great Nana to meet him joke-for-joke.
Yesterday Nana bought two new/used joke books so that she can keep up with The Cub. These Skype visits are going to get interesting!
That is the coolest tradition! How fun for The Cub–and Nana.
Cute! Laughter really is the best medicine and we all need to do it a lot more
Best joke I heard lately…here goes.
Elderly Italian man was speaking at his parish’s Marriage Preparation course. The priest introduced him and told the participants that he was celebrating his 50th wedding anniversary this week. He asked the elderly Italian to share with the group his secret to a happy marriage. The Italian began…(inflect an Italian accent)
*When I a married 25 a year, I take my wifea to Italia for anniversary.
The priest says, *What a lovely anniversary present!* Please tell us what you are doing to celebrate being married 50 years this week.
*I go back to Italia anda pick her up*
Bwahahahaha! Love that one!
I’m pretty sure that I first heard this joke when I was Son #1′s age, so please share this with him.
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!”. The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!”. The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day’s occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?”. The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, “If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid”. The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my brown pants!!
In my family, we still look at one another from time to time and say Yarr, Bring me my brown pants!
We have some family friends whose Favorite Story About Allison is also My First Joke Ever.
I was 3. Or 4. Not sure. I don’t remember. But here is the transcript of what I apparently said:
Me: Knock knock!
Other Person: Who’s there?
Me: Woodpecker! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Get it? ’cause woodpeckers knock….
Anyhoooooo.
About a year ago, HRH told what WE think is HER first joke.
We were on our way back from my MIL’s, and she slipped off her Crocs (her shoes of choice – we’ll have a talk about that when she’s older, but for Wee Ones, they are perfect).
Me: Do you have bare feet?
HRH: Noooooooooo… I have alligator feet! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Stinker.
Son #2 got your first joke immediately. He told us the explanation right away. You were clearly a brilliant child. HRH’s first joke is very clever. Well done for a three year old.
I just want to hear Baby’s riotous laughter!
I really should record it–great therapy when your day is less than stellar.
Oh, we’ve told the orange/banana one enough to make me vomit. Although, if the kids start laughing hard, it still gets me going every time. Most of our jokes don’t even make sense, frankly, so I usually forget them five minutes after I’ve heard them. If I remember one, I’ll try to post it.
Ah, yes. Many make no sense at all to me, but they find them all hilarious. Just another nail in the I’m Getting Older Coffin.
My maiden name is Knox. When my brother and I were elementary school age, his friends made up this joke:
Tommy Knox
was a fox
who lived in a box
with dirty socks!
I thought it was hilarious & chanted it for months and months. Brother didn’t think it was cute at all. heeheehee.
Ha! Love it! Your poor brother.