Failure Happens. Chocolate Helps.

With the near constant recipe development that goes on around here, nothing pleases me more than nailing down a recipe that wins my family’s approval, because when that happens–that means I get to share it with my friends. (That’s you!)

Once shared, I really hope that I’ve explained things in such a way that you get excited about the food and want to try them at home. Fact: There is no higher praise for a Food Blogger than for someone to try their recipes. We live for that stuff.

But I’ve got to be honest here…for every recipe that kicks some serious Culinary Hiney, there are at least three others that didn’t make the cut. OK, four. Maybe more.

My kitchen is in various stages of disarray every day. My automatic dishwasher works overtime and is totally underpaid.

Sometimes even great recipes look like globs of fecal matter due to my photographic learning curve, and no amount of Photoshop will make it look even the least bit appetizing.

Then there are the recipes that no amount of “pretty” can compensate for the taste.  This is a beef stew that I was working on. I was trying to replicate a stew that a friend brought over right after I had Son #2. She told me that it had an entire bottle of red wine in the mix, but you never would have known it by the flavor. Her stew was succulent, and spicy, and wonderful.

My stew was revolting.

Or let’s not forget the whiskey sauce that congealed then separated because I forgot to drain all but a few tablespoons of the beef juices out of the pan before making the gravy. As if that weren’t enough and because I was in a hurry, I then tried to shake a pinch of kosher salt directly from the container but ended up with a couple of tablespoons instead. Oh, and I entirely forgot to add the whiskey to the slop whiskey sauce.

Good times.

Just tonight I thought I’d tweak a favorite recipe at the request of Son #3. He told me that he’d “really like to have mini pot pies” sometime soon, and that he knew that they would “definitely be salubrious.” They just may have been salubrious had I adequately seasoned the sauce and the filling didn’t take it upon itself to stage a mutiny in the oven.

Don’t even get me started on the state of my oven right now. I’ve got some serious Easy-Off penance ahead of me.

Sadly, I could go on and on…

But for now I’m going to drown my sorrows in chocolate because I think if we can agree on nothing else, we can all agree on the fact that chocolate is a snake oil cure for everything.

Just keepin’ it real, Friends! :)

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  1. says

    I managed to screw up Bakeholic Mama’s THREE INGREDIENT creamsicle whoopie pies. WTH? I admit, I did try to go the healthier route, and the fact that my store only had vanilla cake in the gluten free section is where I am setting my blame (clearly it wasn’t my fault; I followed directions perfectly). But after thinking about it all day…
    Thankfully, there were brownies, so, yeah… chocolate helps.
    Solidarity, sister.
    Also, Son #3 said “salubrious.” That’s a win.

  2. Not Inadequate says

    Well, even if photoshop doesn’t help, you still have that absolutely delicious description of “globs of fecal matter.” Mmmmmm….

  3. says

    Perfect timing, given that my strawberry crumble cake came out dry enough to choke a horse this week. I love your honesty. Sometimes recipes tank. It’s reassuring to know that even our favorite cooks have kitchen disasters every once in a while. Also couldn’t agree more with the ‘Chocolate Rule’ – she says at 7:25am as she’s baking Thin Mint Brownies.

  4. says

    Oh my, this had me chuckling! I had NO idea you had culinary feet of clay! I just assumed, because of your mad skills, nothing would dare to flop in your kitchen. Of course, you know this post just makes us all adore you even more!! Even your “flops” look great to me. :)

  5. theislandmom says

    Feel free to send the mini pot pies my way. I’m sure they still rank a 9.5 in the Yummy department.

    Naturally, I totally concur with your conclusion.

  6. bakeaholicmama says

    Oh I loved this post. We’ve all been there. Thank you for being brave enought to show your kitchen. I don’t feel as bad about the pile of dishes waiting for me…. My dishwasher has a name…. she works overtime. Her name is Carrie. (My dishwasher broke….2yrs ago. Hubs thinks he can “fix” it… yeah it’s been TWO years!)

  7. says

    Oh, Kirsten! For what it’s worth, last night’s Spicy Black Bean Burgers more closely resembled Spicy Black Bean Sloppy Joes. And here I was, like Why You No Patty?

    I swear to God, half of the food I make in this house looks like total slop. I live for the days where something looks appetizing when I snap it.

    On that note, your Corn and Avocado Salad (which has never survived to a crostini form) is basially a religious faith in this house.


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