Why I Don’t Garden Anymore.

We have a herd of deer that wander through our property on a daily basis. (Pics were taken with my Blackberry–sorry!) At first, I was enamored with their beauty. “Wow! Look at the deer in our yard!” I’d shriek. Or simply shout out “Deer!” Then they’d hear me and bolt by they time my boys make it to the window. Deer tend to be a little skittish. Wild life hanging around is big doin’s at our house. We love to have them.

Unless it’s a skunk. Skunks aren’t welcome here.

Or a member of the rodent family. We don’t take kindly to rodents.

We soon discovered that the deer traverse our property on a daily basis. We regularly see a herd of 7-8 does and growing fawns. It’s really exciting in the Spring to see the new spotted fawns.  The bucks kind of hang back and let the ladies and babies go before them. In fact, we rarely see a buck. Kind of a “Go on ahead, Ladies. If you don’t get shot or eaten, I’ll be right behind you,” deal. Chivalry is dead in our local deer community.

Knowing what I do about our frequent dinner guests, it’s only natural that I would focus on “deer resistant” plants to landscape our yard. You know, the ones with pictures with the cutesy, leaping stag with the circle around it and a slash through it? The ones the deer aren’t supposed to like?

Sounds great, in theory. The problem is that our deer don’t know that they aren’t supposed to like these plants. In fact, with the voracity in which they eat my plantings, I’d say that deer resistant plants are a sort of delicacy in these parts. We must breed heartier stock up here in the north country because they’ll eat anything. I’ve tried all the repellents, save one, and it doesn’t phase them in the least.

If only I could train them to eat the weeds instead of the decorative plants. I mean, if they’re going to make themselves at home, the least they could do is a few chores.

Lately, the deer are getting pretty brazen about their munching. They used to steer clear of the porch or deck, never getting to close to the house. Not anymore. The other day, I saw a fawn walking across our back deck to get my one remaining hosta in the garden. She didn’t even flinch when I knocked on the window and told her to shoo! The nerve of that girl!

So when I see not one, but two big bucks in a yard having a snack, I about fell over with shock. A four-point and a six-point buck. Right there in front of me. Unbelievable.

What gives?!  Are they so at home in the yard that they feel free enough to flaunt their Big Buck Bromances? Bucks just don’t hang together. They certainly don’t do lunch. They fight over their ladies, or mark their territory, or something. Right?!

Dude. You have got to try this myrtle. It’s da bomb.”

“Say what? Oh. Right. I’ll be right there Bro, right after I cash this fern.”

“Whoa! Black-eyed Susans for dessert! Score!”

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  1. says

    Funny thing is, we saw 3 bucks walking together here in Missouri about a month or so back. Strange happenings in the human world as well as the deer world!

    Maybe the boys have all been kicked to the curb by the does because there’s a doe revolution and does are gaining more independance becuase of the lack of Chivalry in the male population.
    Ok….sorry about that….my imagination just got the best of me, LOL.


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